He opens his bag of presents and out comes the new 2020 Charger Widebody.As he accelerates off, he proclaims Dodge Power Dollars to all, and to all -- out of my way The automaker announces that the Black Friday Sales Event is coming to town.
Goldberg was, after all, perhaps the biggest homegrown WCW star of the Monday Night War era. (Most of that companys other notable namesRey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, even Booker Tachieved greater fame after coming to WWE.) So Goldberg, for a time, could serve as a fantasy booking offering to the fans: beating the Rock, Chris Jericho (who had memorably trolled him in WCW), Triple H, and finally Brock Lesnar in a WrestleMania 20 match that would be the last for both men in the company for a long time. And as Goldberg ageshes 53 but has the ginormous trapezius muscles of a much younger manthe work has gotten shorter and shorter. Even when hes being beaten, as in a botch-filled affair against the Undertaker at last years Super Showdown or in his WrestleMania 33 return match against Brock Lesnar, Goldberg goes down quickly. Hes always booked as an unstoppable force, unless hes stopped quite abruptly. Despite the march of timeof both his age and the changing sensibilities of the wrestling audienceGoldberg remains the culmination of a particular pro wrestling dream: Hes the quintessential promoter-manufactured wrestler, the fictional tough guy booked so strong you almost believe he actually is, the attraction who attracts your attention because the booker tells you so. Goldberg may have had a forgettable NFL career, but he balanced that out with a memorable upper body, bald head, and goateethe quintessential 1990s look of a certain type of tough guy. College football stars like Wayne Munn and Gus Sonnenberg, who had great bodies by 1920s standards but couldnt wrestle their way out of wet paper bags, started the trend. Bronko Nagurski, an NFL legend who had some of the most legendary quads that ever slid into a pair of trunks, offered more of the same in the 1940s and 1950s. Ernie Ladd and Stan Hansen left the gridiron for the squared circle, but even though both were powerhouses, neither was unbeatable. ![]() Hansen and Ladd were both big-gate attractions in their day, but they could afford to give and take losses because each of those bruisers was believable enough in the ring to take the L and come again another day. Goldberg, by contrast, has always been somewhat limited and vulnerable, outside of a spear and a jackhammer finisher that has gotten tougher with age and injury, to the point that he cant afford to be beaten easilythe Internet Wrestling Database records a mere 31 losses, split between pay-per-views (10) and non-pay-per-views (21), across 298 career matches. He wasnt a natural attraction, a lumbering mound like Giant Haystacks or a genuine giant like Andre, but rather a lab-forged creation, rushed from the WCW Power Plant training facility to WCW television in 1997, when he was 31. He wasnt some young phenom, like Brock Lesnar a few years removed from tearing up NCAA wrestling mats when he arrived in the WWE, but rather a man on the cusp of middle age, with a six-year pro football career behind him. Visually, he was impressive, but no more so than lesser lights of the era like muscle-bound second-generation midcarders Shawn Stasiak and Scott Putski. And yes, he had that goatee and bald head that, combined with the black trunks he wore, linked him (at least in spirit) with trash-talking WWE superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin. But Goldberg didnt really wrestle that well, and he didnt talk that much. I got into the ring, did one or two moves on him, and he did nothing back, Regal writes. I was even telling him to do this or that and he just wasnt doing it. Goldberg was no fun, Hart writes in My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling. ![]() He reminded me of the gorilla on that old Samsonite luggage commercial. Prior to Starrcade 99, Hart asked Goldberg not to hurt him in the ring, though of course he did. When Goldberg kicked Hartafter calling for a kick that Hart says Goldberg failed to elaborate onHart says it felt like someone chopped me with a hockey stick, an agonizing blow that sent me crashing to the mat where I lay holding my neck. Here is what people forget, as fan memories of WCW get blurry with that federations decline: Despite those losses, Goldberg kept going, winning nearly every match he was in, mostly forgettable affairs against the likes of Scott Steiner, his aging brother Rick, early MMA star Tank Abbott ( a big man who looked minuscule next to Goldberg ), late-career Lex Luger (who also didnt measure up physically, despite being the Total Package), and various other sacrificial lambs. ![]() Goldberg was, after all, perhaps the biggest homegrown WCW star of the Monday Night War era. Most of that companys other notable namesRey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, even Booker Tachieved greater fame after coming to WWE.) So Goldberg, for a time, could serve as a fantasy booking offering to the fans: beating the Rock, Chris Jericho (who had memorably trolled him in WCW), Triple H, and finally Brock Lesnar in a WrestleMania 20 match that would be the last for both men in the company for a long time.
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